


No Mountain High Enough

by WerewulfTherewulf



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Emotional Trauma, F/M, Modern AU, Modern Royal Family au, Panic Attacks, Physical Trauma, Stress, Violence, hurt!Fili - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 00:48:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8690101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WerewulfTherewulf/pseuds/WerewulfTherewulf
Summary: Prince Fili, heir of Durin is a decoy for being next in line for a throne that had been stolen once, then stolen back again. Due to civil unrest at the time of Thorin usurping the crown, the public was told that he was the true heir instead of his older brother, Kili, in case something were to happen. It isn't until years and years later that the lie is finally redacted, but not before several incidents that nearly put Fili in an early grave.





	

Fíli let himself into the safety pen, taking care to latch the gate behind him. Almost immediately, he was set upon by Felix, his six month old lion cub. Although he was still a young cub, Felix was already huge. If it weren’t for the young beast always following him around the cottage and not liking to let Fíli out of his sight, Fíli would’ve thought Felix only wanted him for food and scratches. Felix stood up on his hind legs and leaned up on Fíli, nosing at and trying to get into the bucket that was in Fíli’s arms, filled with raw meat.

“Alright, alright, you,” Fíli rolled his eyes, pushing Felix away and back to the ground.

The cat yowled at him and nudged at Fíli’s legs as he tried his best to walk over to Felix’s official food dish. He was unable to get very far before he had to reach into the bucket and pull out a small but bloody hunk of raw beef and dangle it over Felix. Right away Felix jumped up and chomped down on it and Fíli’s hand, Fíli unable to react until it was too late. He attempted to yank his hand away, but was stuck while Felix inhaled his snack.

Felix dropped away, but continued reaching up to lick at Fíli’s hand aggressively, trying to find and eat more meat. With his uninjured hand, Fíli again pushed Felix away and continued marching over to Felix’s large food dish. He dumped the rest of the raw meat into it, nearly being bowled over by the hungry cub. As Felix gobbled down his breakfast, Fíli looked over his hand. There were scratches and a few punctures, but luckily very little blood.

The sound of slamming truck doors caught Fíli’s attention, and he placed down the empty, bloody bucket next to Felix before turning around to watch as his older brother carried in overflowing paper bags of groceries with the help of this week’s Secret Service. He made brief eye contact with the man, Dwalin. It was nice to see a familiar face again. Fíli let his gaze go to the sky, dark and stormy as it frequently was. He looked over back to Felix moments later when the cub knocked over the empty bucket, his head hidden inside it as he licked away at the blood. Fíli smiled at the sound of his tongue scraping against the metal repeatedly.

“That’s enough of that, you spoiled brat,” he told Felix, pulling the bucket off his head. Felix stared up at Fíli with a bloody face, but instead of pursuing more treats he sat back and began cleaning himself.

Fíli scratched Felix in his favorite spot then began his way inside. Outside Felix’s pen, Fíli placed the bucket on an old bench and began wiping his boots on the doormat. He looked up when he heard Felix chuffing at him from the pen.

“You’ll be fine for a few hours. Go play with your toys or take a nap. I’ll let you inside if it starts raining,” he told him. He quietly let himself into the cottage, making sure to shut the door behind him silently so he could eavesdrop from the tiny back room.

“—s good for him. It’s kind of hard to have to go to town to get internet access or anything else, but I would give everything up all over again for Fíli,”

“Your uncle is wondering when you’ll return. Your mother, too. It’s been some months now… Thorin is wanting you to return and start taking on responsibilities,”

“Out of the question. Fíli is happy here, and he’s got Felix to take care of now, too. I’m not taking that away from him,”

“Kíli… he can stay. It’s just you that would have to come home. Fíli can stay here, be with his lion; you can come back to us, where _you’re_ happy,”

“I’m not leaving him here alone! He needs me!”

Dwalin jumped to his feet, his chair scraping loudly against the ancient wooden floor. Kíli watched him as he walked across the room, turning around in his seat to follow him. He was startled to see Fíli standing in the doorway, engulfed in a bear hug from Dwalin.

“It’s good to see you, kiddo,” Dwalin said.

“Yeah, you too, old man,” Fíli replied into Dwalin’s shoulder.

“Fíli, I didn’t know you were up,” Kíli called out from his seat. Dwalin replied for the blond.

“He was out in the back with his cat when we came in,”

“When I left to pick you up he was snoring so loudly I was afraid the house was collapsing in an earthquake!” Kíli laughed.

Fíli smiled and pulled out of Dwalin’s grip, walking away to start making a pot of tea.

“Yeah, I slept well last night.” he agreed. Fiddling with the nobs on the old, outdated stove, he hesitated a little before saying, “Hey so I was thinking… it’s been almost a year that we’ve been out here in the country now. Maybe it’s time to go home?”

Kíli stiffened, his mouth becoming a tight line. “Are you sure? We don’t have to do that, I know you like it here. They don’t need us there, and what about Felix? It’s better for him here too,” he said quickly.

Fíli turned around to face his older sibling, smiling gently. “I’m sure, brother. I miss mom and her awful perfume. It’s been long enough,”

“But you like it here,” Kili argued.

“I do. But _you_ are wasted out here. I’ve had time enough to relax and heal; I’m ready to go home,”

Kili purse his lips and looked away. Fili turned back to Dwalin.

“Hey, are you gonna stay for Thanksgiving dinner tonight?” he asked him.

Dwalin nodded. “You have to ask? I’ll never turn down free food, unless neither of you two have improved your cooking. In that case, I’m high tailing it outta here!”

Fili grinned. “No worries, old man, I do all the cooking here. Kili’s not allowed to come near the stove since he can’t seem to get the idea out of his head that the smoke detector is the timer!”

 

 

**_Ten months earlier_ **

 

 

“Honey, how did you sleep last night?”

“I slept great mum. Ninny’s kidney pie knocked me right the fuck out, as always,” Kíli answered, chunks of food from his full mouth flying everywhere. He was sitting backwards in his chair, resting his arms and chin on the back.

“I’m not even going to begin to scold you, child, because I know it will just go in one ear and out the other. I was asking your much, much better behaved little brother. And sit properly!” Dis scolded. She looked at her other son, “Fíli? Oin said your medicine might give you bad dreams, I hope you haven’t gotten any?”

Fíli placed his silverware down on his plate and wiped away soggy bread crumbs that landed on his cheek. “Um… fine? It was fine. I haven’t had many dreams since I got home, I don’t think,”

“I’m glad to hear that, dear. Don’t forget to take your medicine, now that you’ve gotten some food in your stomach. It’s right next to your elbow there, careful not to—do exactly that…” Dis sighed and rolled her eyes, shaking her head at her clumsy sons. Both princes leaned over to pick up the medication that was smacked to the floor by Fíli’s elbow, but they ended up knocking their heads together on accident.

From the head of the table, Thorin spoke up. “I’m glad to see that you are feeling better now, Fíli. Getting some rest has done you a world of good.” he nodded, poking at his breakfast with his fork. He cleared his throat awkwardly, “Your mother, Balin and I had a discussion last night, and we three decided that it may be best if it were stay that way, indefinitely,” he made a point of immediately putting his full attention into his glass of orange juice, avoiding anyone’s gaze.

Fíli had barely picked his fork back up and gotten a mouthful of scrambled eggs in before having to put the utensil back down. He quickly swallowed his food and picked up a triangle cut of toast in the one hand, staring over at Thorin.

“Uh, no. I’m fine. I’ll be okay for the press conference tomorrow evening,” he said, taking a fierce bite out of his toast.

“Oh darling, we know you’d be perfectly fine, just as you always have been. It’s just that _now_ , there’s a chance you could be a bit overwhelmed by it all. All the flashing cameras and the flood of questions, it might be too much for you,”

Kíli watched in trepidation as the furrow in Fíli’s brow got deeper and deeper. For once, he knew not to butt in and defend his baby brother, instead making himself invisible. Bringing attention to himself now would only put him on the list of People To Be Angry With when Fíli finally exploded; that was always so annoying to Kíli because he always had hilarious pictures and memes to share with his brother that the blond wouldn’t appreciate if he was angry at him!

“We just don’t want you to get overrun with questions that are too hard for you, sweetheart, so we think you should stay out of the public eye—“ 

Fíli slammed his fist on the table violently, causing dishes to clatter, Dis to cut herself off and the whole table to jolt in shock.

“I’m not some sort of fucking invalid just because I got knocked on the head!” he shouted. He took a deep breath then while everyone sat back, startled, before continuing on calmly. “It would be stupid if I didn’t go tomorrow. It was my fuck up, and it’d be seen as cowardly and or uncaring if I were to send someone to apologize in my place,” he explained. “The public isn’t as stupid as you make them out to be, Mother,”

“Alright,” Dis said quietly, “I just want you to be safe is all. Things are different now,”

Fíli stood up from his seat abruptly. Without looking directly at Kíli, he told him, “Please tell Ninny that breakfast was delicious,” before leaving the dining room quickly.

The second the door clicked shut, Kíli was on his mother like an angered hive of bees.

“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” he snapped, “It’s been three months since he came home from the hospital and all everybody’s done is treat him like some retard!”

“Kíli! Watch your mouth,” Thorin snarled. Kíli glared at him, pushed out his chair and followed after his brother.

He went to Fíli’s room, expecting his brother to be curled up on his bed with his laptop. Instead the door was wide open but Fíli was nowhere in sight. Kíli grimaced; his brother could be hiding anywhere in their large manor. He pulled his phone from his back pocket and opened up the picture app, scrolling through it to find a meme he hadn’t sent to Fíli yet. He chose one and sent it off, hoping he’d get a response soon.

No such luck; thirty minutes later and Kíli still hadn’t gotten a response.

 

 ** _Later that evening_**  

 

Dis stood directly in front of her son, helping him to straight his tie and button his cuffs.

“Okay, big moment. If anyone asks you any difficult questions or something too personal—more personal than what you’re already addressing, just tell them you won’t answer that and go to someone else,”

“I know Mum, Kíli and me grew up watching Thorin on the telly, remember? You always made us,” Fíli said, trying to escape Dis’ thumb rubbing at his cheek to clean off an invisible speck of dirt.

“You remember what we discussed? About what you’d tell them…”

Fíli’s face darkened. “Yes,” he said.

“Good boy. I’m proud of you,”

Fíli listened just off stage for his cue before walking out to the podium. He looked down to the note cards left there to help guide him, then up over the crowd, nodded at them in acknowledgement.

“Good evening.  I am here to make a formal apology for my behavior at The Royal Children’s Trust gala on the night of February 27th. It was inappropriate, out of line and is an embarrassment to myself and my family. I assure you all it will not happen again, thank you. I will be taking questions,”

Immediately there was a forest of hands in the audience, and Fíli gestured to one near the front.

“Prince Fíli, how has your homosexuality affected your relationship with your fiancée?”

Fíli swallowed to lubricate his dry throat.

“I am not a homosexual. My engagement to Eilín is solid and we are working through the incident,” he answered carefully, pointing to another reporter.

“Prince Fíli! The pictures released in the press clearly show you being intimate with another man. Are you still in contact with this man?”

“No. It was a mistake; we had been drinking all evening, so neither of us were of sound mind,”

“Prince Fíli, there was a number of young children present at the event that night, did it ever occur to you that evening that any number of them could have walked out and seen you and that man together?”

Fíli’s heart skipped several beats. That had never crossed his mind, it was entirely possible! His brain worked at full power trying to deal with the question, and fast.

“No children saw anything that evening. It was late by then, and they had all been ushered home with their families,” a lie, probably. For all he knew one of the tiny guests actually could have wandered out onto the back terrace and seen him and Jorn together in the large fountain.

“Prince Fíli, could your actions that night have been influenced by the brain injury you sustained last November?”

And there it was. Fíli’s chest burned with humiliation. _If they ask about your head, just say yes. Nobody will listen to a long-winded explanation about how it affects you, and it will help you along in the future… should you do something else like this again,_ his mother instructed him. Fíli hated more than anything having to use his (very mild) handicap as an excuse for his mistakes, but at this point he just wanted to be over and done with this. He took a deep breath.

“Yes, it is entirely feasible. I had not had my medication that evening, because I was waiting for a refill on the prescription. That will be all tonight, thank you for your time,” Fíli told the crowd in a clipped tone. He stepped back from the podium and rushed off to the backstage, ignoring the crowd that called out to him more questions, all the loudest being about his brain injury.

 

**_Hours afterwards_ **

 

Clips of Fíli ran across several news channels that night. He and the rest of the family and staff watched them, and he received simple praise sporadically, whenever he would run into a staff member.

After dinner, he decided to spend time in his favorite entertainment room, watching a re-run of an old show. He looked behind him from the sofa when he heard Kíli knock on the door frame and announce his presence.

“Hey, look what I just got in the mail!” he grinned, holding up a DVD case.

Fíli sat back, shocked. “Season six? How the hell did you get a box set, the season hasn’t even premiered yet!” he asked. Kíli sauntered over and plopped down next to Fíli.

“Not to the general public. But who’d dare to keep the heir to the country from watching Game of Thrones?”

Fíli grimaced. “Right now? A lot of people, probably,” he sighed, not wanting to meet Kíli’s gaze.

Kíli laughed and lightly nudged Fíli’s shoulder. “Careful there, little pebble, those sound like the words of a usurper! Despite what we tell the public, I’m still the actual heir!” he ruffled Fíli’s hair, who blushed fiercely and tried to fend off his older brother. “But they said no to me, too, so I put Uncle’s name on the request and they finally accepted,”

The two of them sat through the first two episodes when Thorin came out of nowhere and sat on Fíli’s other side, startling the pair.

“Uncle! Don’t you have several stacks of paper to be signing?” Kíli asked.

“You mean stacks of formal apologies for the stunts you like to pull? Hush, boy. I’ve finished my work for the night. What makes you think you could use my name to get things early without me knowing?” he asked them.

“Uncle I didn’t know you liked Game of Thrones,” Fíli said.

“Why do you two think it takes so long for ‘security’ to ‘check for safety’ on your packages containing media?” he replied, “I have interests, too. Now sit back, shut up, and fill me in on what I’ve missed,”

The trio continued to watch through the first half of the season together, sitting on the edge of their seats the whole time. By the end of episode five, though, they were all equally exhausted.

“Alright,” Thorin began, switching off the television, “off to bed, both of you,” he said, checking his watch, "Mahal, it's nearly 3AM,"

They slowly stood and stretched, accidentally smacking each other in the face with their hands. Kíli left in front of Fíli, but before Fíli could get far Thorin poked his shoulder with his prescription pill bottle, telling him, “Don’t forget these, please, Nugget,”

Fíli grumbled at the childhood nickname, but grabbed the bottle before shuffling away to his bedroom.

The next three weeks were a blur. Visiting orphanages, opening libraries and reading to school children; Fíli had his hands full with publicity. Eilín, his fiancé, had been all over him lately for woohoo and planning their impending wedding, and he was set to begin a series of more publicity stunts, where he would go to meet owners of local businesses ranging from the city to the country to meet them and show his support for the little guys.

It would be stressful, constantly traveling all over the country all day, every day for a week, but he’d have his brother there to be by his side. The majority of the world was unaware that Kíli was the rightful heir to the throne, and simply accepted that the two of them didn’t like to be separated; Kíli was the important one though, and he was doing his duty as much as Fíli was, even if it was from the sidelines.

The first stops of the publicity tour were to be within the city; an ice cream shop, a sushi restaurant, and a full service beauty salon for Eilín and Kíli’s fling of the month. On day four, they moved on to the countryside, where they visited a family owned tea shop.

Eilín and Fíli stood on either side of the purveyors, grinning and posing for photos. The flash lingered in Fíli’s vision for a few minutes but he kept on smiling. He was pulled away from the older owners and camera to be interviewed off to the side, but not before hearing his fiancé ask the owners about a fertility tea. That meant she would want to have sex, again, as soon as possible.

Fíli sighed internally. She had just had sex with him before they left the hotel! Any chance she got, she would grab Fíli and pull him into an isolated space so she could get her claws into him. It was because she was on her monthly cycle, he figured. She was always keen for woohoo during that time, he had noticed.

Three days later, Fíli was ripped from his short, restless sleep and given half an hour to prepare for the final community visitation at a small park, where he watched a local family put on a play for other young children. After another photo op with everyone there, the royal family was whisked away to their estate.

Fíli was hoping for peace, but there was very little. Princess Dis had invited Eilín’s family to stay with them for the time while the rest of her own children were gone. So Eilín’s sister Alanja, her husband Kohl and their four young, screaming children had all taken up guest rooms for a week. That same night, Fíli, Kíli and Thorin were due to make a red carpet appearance for the season premiere of Game of Thrones. All this was after having to entertain his young (soon-to-be) nephews, who were very fond of shouting, climbing and hitting.

In the last hour before he had to leave for the premiere, Fíli managed to sneak off to ‘get ready’, but it was painfully obvious what he was doing exactly. Eilín threw him a scathing look, but otherwise brushed it off.

In the end, Fíli ended up hiding in his private bathroom with the shower running while he leaned against the sink, smoking a cigarette stolen from Kili’s stash and letting the smoke waft through the minutely propped open window. Before holing up in there, he slipped on a dirty-but-didn’t-smell-too-bad-and-hopefully-nobody-will-notice suit that was lying in his still packed luggage and haphazardly dragged a comb through his thick hair. After struggling with getting the comb through his mane he quickly waved away the remaining smoke and stubbed out the cigarette when his mother rapped on the door.

“Hurry up with your shower and finish getting ready, it’s time to go!” she shouted through the wood. Sighing and waiting a few seconds, Fili pushed himself off the sink and turned the running water off.

“Yeah, I’m out!” he called back. Spritzing himself with his favorite cologne to mask the smoke, he dragged himself out of the manor and into the limo with his brother, uncle, and fiancé.

“I want you to spend time with your future nephews so you can get used to having young children!” Eilín whispered to him. She reached over and plucked the comb out of his hair and tucked some back behind his ear before planting a small kiss on his cheek.

He turned and looked at her, not sure what to say back to her. So instead he kissed her in hopes of appeasement. It worked for the time being. On the red carpet, there were no interviews for the royals there, just several posed photos. The lack of interviews (which were all saved for the actors there, the most important people of the night) was filled in by triple the amount of flash photography, which gave Fili a headache.

The sudden feeling of a hand squeezing his butt startled him, and he turned his head to look down at the appendage, following the arm to its owner; Eilín, of course. She winked at him.

“With all the cameras on Jon Snow over there, it’s like we’re not even here! I don’t think anyone would notice if we were to get a bit naughty, right here!” she giggled, squeezing his butt again. Blessedly, Mahal sent down the perfect getaway.

“Prince Fili! Can we get a picture of you and Prince Kili together with Kit and Emilia?” called out a photographer.

“Yes!” Fili answered too quickly. He rushed away from Eilín and over to the others, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders briefly.

“You look happier than I’ve seen all day,” Kili mumbled into his ear when he got the chance, “Eilín bugging you for some nookie?” he smirked. The brothers stepped back and away from the stars so they could share a quiet conversation with each other.

Fili rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but not in the way you think. She’s been making me have sex with her at almost every waking moment lately… especially in the last week,”

Kili reeled back in surprise. “What?! We’ve been on the road all week and we’ve only been away from each other for moments at a time!”

“That’s all it takes. Five, ten minutes with the attention away from us and she’ll drag me away to get busy…”

A mischievous look slid onto Kili’s face. “Five minutes? That’s a bit quick, baby bro!” he teased. The betrayed look Fili gave sobered him up, though.

“Dammit, Kili, this isn’t a joke! My libido is exhausted, I normally last longer than that. My dick is raw, Kili, and it fucking hurts!” Kili tried to reach out and apologize but Fili brushed it off, “Just leave me alone for a bit, yeah? I just want to be left alone, so don’t tell Eilín where I’ve gone,” he looked around and added, “or Thorin, wherever he’s gone,”

Fili heard Kili say something about flirting and Jaime Lannister, which was something he’d normally kill to see, but right now his priority was isolation. Just like earlier at home, he hid in the furthest bathroom he could find, which was back in where the after-party would be held. He sat on top of the granite sink counter cross legged and browsed his favorite sites on his phone.

He had peace and quiet for fifteen minutes before the door opened and another patron walked in. It was a staff member for the lot, who jumped when they saw Fili.

“Prince Fili! What are you doing in here??” they asked, “People are looking for you!”

“I just wanted to be left alone for a little while,” he replied.

“… But this is the ladies room,” she said, unsure about what to do. Fili nodded.

“Yes. No one will think to look for me in here,” he explained matter-of-factly.

“Oh. Well… there are people looking for you. Your fiancé is very much wondering where you’ve gone off to. She’s very worried,”

That soured Fili’s mood immediately. He loved Eilín, he really, really did. But lately… she was just being a bit much. The timing of her attitude was awful, and he didn’t know how to tell her that he needed her to back off slightly without hurting her feelings. He cared too much about her to do that. He took in a deep breath and sighed.

“Alright. You can go tell her where I am. I know she’ll want to be left alone with me anyway,” he said sadly. 

Finally, hours later, the red carpet premiere and after party were over. Fili finally got to go home, take a shower, read a book in bed and then peacefully fall asleep. The group got out of the limo and walked up the steps, pulling open the massive manor doors. It was 11 PM and Eilín’s family was still there. It was 11 PM and Eilín’s nephews were still wide awake, running around the entrance hall and screaming at the top of their lungs.

As soon as they noticed their uncles were back, the boys’ screams jumped an octave higher and they charged right over, ramming into their legs.

Two boys per uncle, each shouted, “Up! Up! Up!” while simultaneously trying to climb up by themselves. Kili gladly picked both of them up into his arms, taking the screaming in his ears in stride. Fili, on the other hand, could not take it.

He walked past them and headed up the grand staircase, with complete intent to follow through with his bedtime plans. What he didn’t account for was the boys following him, jumping and grabbing at his pants, still hopeful that he’d give them his attention. Kili caught on quickly to Fili’s ever mounting stress and called out to the two youngsters, successfully pulling them away from his little brother and over to him.

Fili disappeared down the hallway nearest his bedroom, and the remaining family on the ground floor could hear his bathroom door slam shut. Kili sighed, very worried for his brother. He’d have to tell Thorin later to let Fili go on a little break, lest his best friend collapse in on himself. He turned his attention back to all four of his future-nephews, who were all trying to show him and tell him several different things all at once.

Eilín was enjoying wine with his mother, and Thorin had disappeared into his study to sit back and do more boring work. Kohl and Alanja were nowhere to be found; sleeping deeply or busy making new additions to their small army, Kili was sure.

Forty five minutes later, the boys were finally starting to wind down and begin yawning.

“Aww, the poor dears have chattered themselves into exhaustion,” Dis cooed, “It reminds me of you and your brother at the same age. Kili, come help me put them to bed. Eilín dear you can go on to bed too, I’m sure Fili is missing having alone time with you,” she smiled.

He knew his mother meant well, and was glad, in a way, that she didn’t know about that part of Fili’s stress, but hearing those words from her made him grimace. His little brother’s distress from earlier was still gnawing at him, his dismayed face and the tone of his voice still fresh in his mind’s eye.

Melancholic, he lifted the two littlest boys up into his arms and began the trek upstairs to the guest bedrooms. The sound of hurried, pounding footsteps suddenly sounded out; they were headed towards the grand staircase, causing everyone to stop and look in that direction.

It was a frantic Thorin, who had his phone pressed to his ear as he hurriedly shoved past Kili on the staircase. He sprinted towards the front entrance and threw open the doors before rushing out. Terrified, Kili looked towards his mother. He wanted to follow, but his hands are full. Eilín had read his mind and ran over, taking her nephews into her arms, allowing Kili to run after Thorin.

The king was out at the front entrance security booth, shouting at them to open the gates for the ambulance. That was when Kili felt the blood drain away from his face, screeching to a halt about a yard away from Thorin. He and Thorin made eye contact for just a split second, right as Kili had spun around and began sprinting back towards the manor. Thorin’s hand on his shoulder stopped him.

“Kili, no! Don’t go in there, please. I don’t want you to see him like this.” he said, pulling Kili into a tight hug. “He had a seizure in the shower. I went to go check on him and I found him on the floor,”

Kili ripped himself from his uncle’s embrace. “No!” he spat, “I need to be with him; I belong with my brother!” Thorin didn’t try to stop him this time as Kili dashed back inside, opting instead to turn back and be there to give details to the EMTs; he could hear the sirens and new it would be mere moments until they had arrived.

When Kili reached the bathroom, he found Eilín already there, sobbing her eyes out. There was a lot of blood pooling on the floor, and now Eilín’s lap, as she had Fili’s head resting on her thigh. Kili was glad to see that she or Thorin had the knowledge to put him on his side as he seized, but he wasn’t sure if it would matter; it was clearly evident he had hit his head on the way down.

Suddenly Kili found himself with a shortness of breath. There was so much blood, and Fili was convulsing on the ground right in front of him. Kili’s heart started pounding heavily in his chest, and he felt faint; his edge of his vision was fuzzy and black, and he couldn’t properly hear anything going on. It was like he was swimming underwater. His little brother was before him, _dying._ His baby brother was **_dying_** right in front of him and there was _nothing he could do_.

He was pushed aside as EMTs rushed in, talking at him and Eilín but every word coming out of their mouths was garbled gibberish. He opened his own mouth to say something, anything, but instead he was choked on air. He couldn’t breathe properly, now, he couldn’t even bring in a single intake of air.

An EMT turned and said something directly to him, but it was thick sludge to Kili’s ears. Fili was still there on the floor **_dying_** , why wasn’t anyone doing anything?!

_“Someone get him out of here! He’s having a panic attack, take him away to a quiet room, far away from here!”_

How did things get this way? It was his job to protect his little brother! Fili was the more level-headed of them both, but Kili was still the big pebble! Fili was his little pebble, he had to keep him safe! But he had failed, and now his baby brother was on the floor bleeding to death. More thick sludge crept into his ears, but this time it was directly next to him. He jerked his head towards the sludge, and found his mother standing there with tears in her eyes.

Dis, a whole head shorter than him, pulled him into her arms and quickly but carefully escorted him out of Fili’s bathroom and away into his own bedroom at the other end of the corridor. The sudden silence was jarring to Kili, but his mind was still buzzing. Dis sat them both down on his bed, ignoring turning on a light, and she wrapped him up in his comforter, hugging him tight.

He was still having some trouble breathing, but it was not as bad as it had been mere moments before, and he was able to tune into what his mother was doing. She was softly saying things to soothe him and herself alike.

“It’s not as bad as it looks. Head wounds bleed a lot, no matter how little they are,” she would know, she was a trained nurse. And she was his mother, so therefor she knew _everything,_ “it’s just a knock on the forehead; the worst part is the seizure and that itself isn’t even bad at all.

It’ll just be an overnight stay at the hospital, and then he’ll be home, right as rain,”

Kili felt himself make a noise a protest, and he tried to stand, but Dis forced him back down. “Thorin and Eilín will be with him tonight,” she told him. He re-positioned himself and leaned against her, hiding his face in her neck just as he did as a child.

“You’re in no state to go anywhere tonight, but in the morning, when you’re feeling better, we’ll go and see him. Alright?” he nodded, bringing a hand up to wipe away the tears that had sprung from his eyes. “I know you’re scared right now. I’m scared too. We couldn’t have known this would happen, there was no way for us to prevent it. All we can do now is wait,”

The tears stubbornly falling from Kili’s closed eyes were now filled with not only despair, but frustration and anger. They _could_ have known, and they _could_ have prevented it! _He_ could have prevented it! Kili knew by heart the causes of seizures, and stress was a huge gateway factor into others.

Kili knew damn well Fili was having trouble sleeping, but he didn’t do anything about it. He knew Fili would be overthinking things, like he always does, working himself up into anxiety attacks. That had to have been what happened. He had an anxiety attack in the shower, and it triggered the seizure. Thorin must have known, too. That’s why he went to check up on Fili!

But Fili was on medication to prevent seizures! Why wasn’t it working all of a sudden? And how long had he been lying there on the floor like that? Thorin went to check up on him almost an hour after he went to take a shower. It could have happened any time between that, and none of them knew! He could have been lying there, suffering, for that entire time, and no one knew!

Dis was shushing him now, and brought him back in for another tight embrace as he began to work himself up all over again. He shared with her his fears, and she listened and replied with vague, soothing answers, staying with him until he finally passed out from exhaustion.

In the morning, Alanja, Kohl and the boys packed up and left for home. Dis got a hold of a newspaper with the intention of scouring each page for a mention of last night’s incident. She wasn’t even able to get past the front page; it was the headline news.

**MEMBER OF ROYAL FAMILY RUSHED TO HOSPITAL LATE LAST NIGHT**

Dis pursed her lips. There was an accompanying, blurry picture of the ambulance as it was driving away, and from the surroundings Dis could tell that it had been taken from the bushes right outside the gate. There were people lurking outside the gates of their home, again. The article didn’t have too many details, just the time of the event. It promised lived updates as they got details, though. Dis grimaced, not enjoying the thought of fending off reporters so soon. There was nothing she could do about it though, especially not right at that moment. She had to have breakfast with her one son, then go and see the other in the hospital.

She and Kili sat down to eat, but both found themselves with very little appetite, so they instead went straight off to the hospital as quietly, avoiding the public eye as much as possible. They were snuck in the back of the hospital and quickly brought up to Fili’s private care room. Kili felt bad that he practically shoved his mother out of the way so he could run in, but he had to see his brother.

He first saw Thorin, who was sitting in an old plastic chair next to the bed with his back to the door. His hair was a mess from when he had undoubtedly run his hands through it several times, and the sleeves of his button-up were rolled up to his elbows.

Then there was Eilín, who was asleep on the tiny couch up against the wall, beneath the window. Fili was lying flat in his bed, looking drugged up to his gills on morphine. His right arm was up and swaying, loosely holding a hand of cards. Thorin was holding his own cards, and was quietly talking to Fili, who gave him louder, slurred responses that were hard to decipher. Every time Fili’s arm would sway, a card or two would slip from Fili’s hand and land on his face, but Thorin would reach over, pick them up and gently put them back.

Fili would have picked them up himself if it weren’t for his left arm being held by a sling. Distressed all over again, Kili walked over to stand next to Thorin, while Dis moved to the other side of the bed to stand closely to Fili.

“Oh you poor thing,” she lamented, gently brushing back his hair. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his forehead, right above where a small bandage was plastered.

Seeing that it really was nothing more than just a knock on the forehead made Kili feel better. His mother the trained nurse who knew absolutely everything was right, of course.

“Muuuuummmm,” Fili slurred, flinging his arm up to swat her away. His cards flew everywhere and he ended up smacking himself in the face. “Augh mum ah canny fin’ mah arm ah think we shuid pat th’ crème oan it,” he moaned.

Kili couldn’t hold back his laughter. “Oh _no_! They’ve turned him into a Scot! There’s no going home with him now, definitely have to disown him,” he teased. Fili’s head rolled over to glare at him, but it was hard to appear intimidating when you looked like a sleepy puppy.

“Up yer taint ‘n sook mah fat cock,” Fili tried to insult in return, but it only resulted in Kili having to hide his face in his hands as he laughed. Dis and Thorin shared identical looks of embarrassment and exasperation. Dis put on a smile and patted Fili’s head.

“Darling your arm is right here,” she gently rested her hand on his slung up arm, “You hurt it when you fell last night,”

Fili let out a scandalized noise. “How come did ah dae that?! Howfur am ah suppose tae wank noo?” he glared down at his arm, wiggling it. The adults in the room glanced over at Eilín, who was still fast asleep, while Kili went out into the hall in hysterics. An irritated grunt came from Fili. “Ah want tae see mah dug,” he said, “Where’s mah dug??” he looked at Thorin with wide eyes.

Hiding his confusion, Thorin smiled. “He’s waiting for you at home. We’ll get you back today, and then you can see him,” he told his nephew, choosing to humor him. Fili closed his eyes and nodded just once.

“Goodbye,” he said, dropping his head back on the pillow and falling asleep immediately. Kili sneaked back into the room.

Thorin shook his head and smiled. “I think it’s safe to assume he’ll be out for a while. We should go home and take care of ourselves for a change,” he turned around in the chair to look at Kili, “you and I are both looking quite disheveled,” he said, wisely saying nothing about his little sister’s appearance.

“I will be staying,” Dis announced. She sat by Fili, holding his hand. “Eilín and I will be staying for the time being. We’ll bring him home,”

“Are you sure?” Thorin asked. Dis nodded.

“Yes. Go home and get some rest,”

Thorin stood from his seat and moved it out of the way. “Make sure to take care of yourselves also,” he told her. Dis smiled and nodded, waving Thorin and Kili goodbye.

When they had disappeared from sight, Dis turned and gently shook Eilín awake.

“Dear, wake up,” she said gently. Eilín sat up and rubbed her eyes. Dis rubbed her back, “let’s go get something to eat, shall we? Kili and I weren’t able to stomach any food this morning, but I’m afraid my appetite has caught up with me,”

Eilín yawned and nodded, getting to her feet and grabbing her coat. After Dis stood and got out of the way, Eilín went over to Fili and kissed him on the forehead.

“He’s okay?” she asked, voice still groggy from sleep. Dis nodded.

“Yes, I believe he is no worse for wear than he looks at the moment. He was put on morphine for the pain of his arm and head, and you missed all the fun with that,” she snorted.

Curious, Eilín asked Dis about it, and listened to Fili’s silliness on the way to the (thankfully empty) cafeteria. As they got food, a worried staff member asked if they would not prefer to eat in a private area, so as to not be bothered by any civilians. Dis rolled her eyes and gestured to the empty room.

“I’m sure we’ll manage,” she said. She and Eilín grabbed a table in a corner and chatted idly.

Thirty minutes later they began heading back up to Fili’s room, passing a gift shop on the way. Eilín stopped Dis and told her she wanted to take a quick visit inside, to get something for her fiancé, so they did. It was another twenty minutes before they finally returned.

Both ladies were mildly surprised to find a doctor in the room, attempting to talk to Fili.

“Hello,” Dis called out. The doctor turned, smiling when she saw the pair.

“Oh, hello! I am Doctor Armstrong. You must be his mother and his… wife?”

Eilín smiled weakly. “Not quite yet,” she clarified.

“Apologies. I was just talking to Fili here, letting him know that he will be discharged today and that other than the broken arm, there’s no real lasting injury. He got a little bump on the head, but it’s nothing serious,” she began flipping through the pages on her clipboard, and began addressing Dis solely.

Eilín walked around the doctor to reach her fiancé’s side. He was much more clear-headed now that he had taken a nap (though not completely), and he was glad to see her.

She sat down in the chair and handed him a soft German Shepard plush, which he snatched and hugged to his chest much too happily. Eilín frowned and grabbed his hand.

“Fili, darling…” she began, “I want to apologize for my behavior recently,”

Fili stared up at her blearily. “Huh?” he blinked. “Oh!”

“Yes… I’ve been awfully terrible! I can’t believe my behavior; it was embarrassing and shameful,”

Imitating Eilín’s distraught expression, Fili put his other hand on top of hers. He spoke slowly, mind still slightly cloudy from the morphine, “No… it is just bad timing,” he told her.

“Agh… no, I shouldn’t have done it at all! You should be more upset with me,”

Fili pulled her to him and presented her with a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “Nononono. It is okay now. Just not do it again?”

Eilín smiled and nodded. “Yes, no problem,”

A nurse walked up next to Fili’s monitor to check his vitals. “How are you feeling?” she asked Fili.

He raised up his arm and gave her a shaky thumbs up. It fell to the side. “Eeeehhhhhhh, ‘ve been better,”

“D’you want some more of the morphine, then?”

“Aww yiss gimme some of that good stuff,”

The nurse rolled her eyes good-naturedly and smiled, going ahead and administering a bit more into the IV drip then taking off. It hit Fili _very_ quickly. He looked back at his fiancé, grabbed her hand and shook it wildly.

“How come tho?” he asked her.

“……………..” Eilín sat back and stared at him, not sure what to say. “Oh, uh… um… I guess I just got… overwhelmed? I got overwhelmed by the dreams I’ve had since a child, really. It’s really dumb, honestly! … They’re the same as any little girl: meet Prince Charming, have an amazing wedding and live happily ever after with a brood of children,” she stammered, looking away. She could not meet his eyes as she continued, “I met you and it was _fantastic_ … and now we’re getting married soon and with the date getting so close, I -- !! I just had a brief period of insanity,” 

After three beats of silence, Eilín dared to look up at Fili, and boy was he smug. A pompous smirk had plastered itself onto his face but soon it morphed into him scrunching up his face into something hideous as he prodded himself in the chest with his available thumb.

“ _Prince Charming,_ ” he boasted. “Tis aboot time ah git some recognition,”

Eilín snorted, muttered something about her Scottish prince and rolled her eyes while Fili turned his attention to Dr. Armstrong.

“Daahhhccttooorrrrrr,” he called out, “Mah medicine isnae workin', how come isnae mah medicine workin', a'm taking thaim …”

Dr. Armstrong turned to Fili. She looked at her clipboard again. “Well, Fili,” she began, “I actually was just about to discuss this with your mother. I believe you when you say you take them… but for some reason you’ve been taking placebos! I don’t know what chucklehead prescribed them to you, but placebos can only do so much, not including preventing seizures. I will prescribe you _actual_ seizure medication, and hopefully we won’t have to see you in here again anytime soon,”

“What!” Dis and Eilín shouted in sync.

“Who was his doctor, I want their license revoked!” Dis snarled.

“Please, let’s not act irrationally here,” Dr. Armstrong countered, trying to defuse the situation. She again flipped through the pages on her clipboard, scanning them quickly, “My papers here say Fili’s previous doctor prescribed him Clobazam, _not_ a placebo pill. So up until now, or, recently, Fili _has_ been taking the actual drug. That means that someone has been tampering with his medication,”

“That’s impossible!” Eilín gasped.

“There’s no other explanation,” Dr. Armstrong told them sternly.

“But how… ?” Dis asked quietly, “And why?”

“ _Rude!_ ” Fili yelled.


End file.
